• a grown ass man who is obviously at least 25 years old:i just turned sixteen i can't wait to get a car :)
• a grown ass woman with fully formed breasts, perfect skin, and chiseled features:lucky you, chad, i still have to wait TWO MORE YEARS :( being fourteen sucks

lowbutt:

MY SCIENCE TEACHER CAUGHT THE TABLE ON FIRE AND HES JUST STARING AT IT

(via anunoriginalheading-blog)

xbands1996x:

who remembers when Esteban got put on hold?

(via pineplapple)

(via pineplapple)

toralei:

knowing all the details about drama but managing to avoid getting involed

(via pineplapple)

goytears:

i havent had a crush on anyone irl in such a long time i cant tell if it’s a blessing and im at #peace or im just dead inside

(via pineplapple)

nomoremissnicebi:

My dad has a doppelganger named Eric. For years people have been coming up to him, thinking he was Eric. Sometimes people get a whole conversation going while my dad stands there politely wondering why this stranger is talking to him before they stop, wide eyed, and realize “you’re not Eric.” None of us have ever seen Eric, but we know he’s out there. Sometimes a couple years will go by without an Eric incident and we worry. But then my dad will come home like “good news guys, Eric’s still alive, I met his cousin today.”

(via pineplapple)

• someone:[makes a reference to Something I Like]
• me:[comes out of a dark alleyway, snapping fingers rhythmically]

memeufacturing:

interviewer: why do you want a job at my bakery?
me: i dont know. i just really Knead the dough
interviewer: wow. ok. Listen , im only hiring you just so i can fire you 

(via pineplapple)